The following statistics for England and Wales describe the overall trend facing society at the beginning of the twenty-first century.
England and Wales have the highest divorce rate in Europe.
Most divorces occur between five and nine years of marriage.
In 2000, approximately 41% of marriages that took place in England and Wales ended in divorce. By 2010, it is expected that 50% of all first time marriages for both partners will end in divorce.
Teenagers who marry are more likely to divorce than any other group.
50% of all marriages are re-marriages for one or both of the partners and 50% of all second marriages end in divorce.
It is estimated that 25% of children under 16 experience their parents’ divorce.
3 million children are living in a stepfamily situation.
In 1996 there were 157,000 divorces in England and Wales. Of these 147,000 involved children under the age of 16.
There are 19,000 suicide attempts by adolescents every year - more than one every 30 minutes.
Young women (15-19 years) are most likely to commit suicide but the suicide rate amongst young men has tripled since 1985.
There are two suicides by young people in England and Wales every day.
If the pain caused by such statistics is left unaddressed, it can lead many young people to experience serious emotional, psychological, social and educational difficulties. The RAINBOWS mission is to support children “. . . from hurt, through healing to hope.” The consequences of repressed and unresolved grief can be serious and long lasting, making it difficult for young people to form lasting relationships. The danger is that if grief is avoided or buried, it can become debilitating. It can change one’s life to such a destructive extent that there seems little point in carrying on. For example, it is considered that many adolescents attempting suicide grow up in families with more turmoil than other groups of adolescents, coming more often from broken homes due to death and divorce, abuse or through alcohol or drugs abuse.The grief people feel as a result of bereavement, separation and divorce, needs to be told and retold in order to bring the person to accepting that the future can still hold hope of fulfillment and that the time of pain will not last for ever.There are many people who need just a presence in their isolation and grief. They need someone’s ears to hear their cry; someone’s eyes to see their distress. In short, they need someone just to be there.
Rainbows help:
By helping children and their families to rebuild their self esteem,
By enabling them to name, understand and come to terms with the many emotions they experience,
By reassuring those who have anxieties or feelings of guilt,
By encouraging young people to move towards forgiving those whom they feel have caused their pain.
Rainbows is NOT therapy. It does not diagnose and treat emotional or behavioural problems.
Rainbows is not counselling even though each group has an adult Facilitator.
In Rainbows, emotions of grief are considered normal, especially one's response to traumatic loss. Rainbows helps because:
It is a group sharing freely with each other,
It deals with very normal feelings associated with a stressful life event - grievous loss,
There is no professional guide other than a Facilitator who listens. The experience is dependent on deepening relationships within the group,
It offers acceptance, understanding and an exploration of a persons coping skills,
It provides a safe setting in which children, adolescents or adults can, with the help of a trained Facilitator, come to terms with the feelings they are experiencing,
It creates small groups in which all are experiencing similar feelings, and can work through the programmes, exploring and expressing their feelings of grief,
Although such grief can be destructive, it can also, if handled properly, be an opportunity for personal growth,
For many, it will be the first time they have been able to express their feelings.
Rainbows offer children:
Alleviation of fear and anxiety
Improved school attendance and academic performance
Management of anger
Coping tools
Encouragement of positive behaviour
Unconditional acceptance in the group
Development and strengthening of problem-solving skills
Development of positive goals for themselves
Direction towards the acceptance of their loss
Confidential surroundings in which to express their grief
A safe environment to share personal stories
A journal in which to write or draw feelings, so helping to understand and release them
A caring adult facilitator to listen attentively
Increased self-esteem
Better physical health
Better communication in peer and family relationships
Opportunity to meet new friends who have similar experiences
Emotional healing